As I sip my coffee waiting for my bagel to defrost from the freezer, I am feeling a little philosophical this morning, especially about relationships.
I read a very sad article about a couple left 'adrift' in the world. Lital, a health professional from Israel and Vinas, an IT professional from Iran met in Turkey a few years back and had an instant connection and fell in love. Unfortunately, they cannot live in either of their home countries (Iran or Israel) because of the political relationship between their countries. Their passports do not allow them to get resident status in any country, so they remain adrift trying to live their lives together - they were married in 2019. They have an asylum request filed in Cyprus but that is a lengthy and uncertain process. They can't get employment because of their resident status, so they are adrift merely trying to find a place to live. All they want is a place to be together and eventually raise a family.
So much of history seems to be replete with similar stories of couples being blocked from pursuing a life together because of 'artificial' or man-made rules standing in the way. I remember growing-up in an Irish Catholic family where it would have been unthinkable to marry a person 'outside the faith.' Similar prohibitions exist in many religions - I have Jewish friends who would never marry outside the faith. Try imagining a Muslim marring a Christian ( or worse yet a Jew) in Saudi Arabia or Pakistan. In our society we can overcome most of these obstacles if we opt for a civil union outside the theological blessing of our religion. Of course you risk the likelihood that you will be ostracized or even disowned by the family.
If these barriers aren't enough, try thinking about the challenges of same-sex relationships and marriages. In some countries you can be executed merely for being gay, so you can figure where getting married sits on the scale of possibilities. My thinking on the topic is pretty simple. We are on this earth for 70 to 80 years on the average - a very, very short time in the scheme of time. Why should we not have equal access to happiness? There is no warmer personal feeling than that of being with someone you love and cherish with all your heart. Should you be denied that feeling because of some imposed rule made up by someone or a group that has no business telling you how to live your life? Are you harming anyone living your life as you want?
I am reminded that when I met my lovely Armenian wife I was in the Armenian world an "Odar," which means outsider. I am sure in a historical context it would have been inconceivable for Josh to have a relationship with an 'odar' much less marry one. Fortunately, customs have evolved, and we joke today about my status as an odar. I can project, however, and think about how we would have felt if we were adrift in the world, and I couldn't be with the person I love because I was an odar and had no place to live and raise a family just like every other human being.
On that note, I will continue to think about life over another cup of coffee.